05/28/10 The whole world is moving, don't be the one standing still.

Are you one of the many who have a few cents in their pockets? Eating a hole at their hearts with the amount of stress the hole produces, the constant worries and what if's driving you past insanity.
Everything is too expensive, Some work too much, Some work too little, Some have so much glued to their shoulders that they're arms are sure to rip from their body if even an ounce is added. Some love too much, and most love too little. There's no such thing as a "Simple Life" Each life is a battlefield of souls being thrown into sinking sand, fighting for their lives, and the lives of their loved ones to climb out to feel happiness and security. The thing is, there's no telling how many times you will get thrown right back in the sinking sand, some make it out with the strength they gained from pulling themselves out the first time, Others don't.
Some take more then is available, Most want more then they possess. Life isn't defined by rays of sunshine, kittens,children laughing,love,smiling faces,fresh air, and cool summer breezes. We breathe recycled air, and see destruction almost everywhere we look. Devastation is an emotion we all will feel one time or another. The world we live in often isn't fair, with fires of burning tears, wind of unheard screams blowing the embers across the vibrant color of smiles and warm hearts. Not a single soul could know what the meaning of life is, but every soul lives unknowing. Maybe that is exactly what the meaning is, not knowing, just living, no written meaning, each soul embodies their own definition. Each tragedy bending the ground you walk on, you should be proud of yourself, whoever you are, whatever life you have lived so far, your alive, your living. The beautiful disaster you walk upon every day hasn't swallowed you whole. All this hard work breaking you and then making you who you are. Somehow we keep breathing the air, the one thing we all share.

-Nellie.

05/26/10 The tip of the iceburg.

Hahaha, he looks like he's trying to be a big Ol' seductress.
As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.
We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.
The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as
anger and attachment, fear and suspicion,
while love and compassion, a sense of universal responsibility
are the sources of peace and happiness.
Whether one believes in a religion or not,
and whether one believes in rebirth or not,
there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion.


Smile.
Whomever reads this.
-Nellie.

05/23/10 To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

I wish it would rain ice cold rain right now. It's been severely hot and humid the past few days, especially today. I haven't been able to write in a few days it's been super busy here. My parents and my poodle came to visit bringing a ton of furniture and food and all my stuff, I'm almost done unpacking it all, I'm happy everything will have a place. I miss my parents already, I loved having them here.

05/17/10 I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

Have you ever been in the worst mood, for no reason at all? Merely the tedious daily routine making you one big grumpy disaster. The usual "Soon I'll complete this goal" thought you think every single day, and then the feeling of self doubt that follows shortly after, and for a few seconds or minutes all hope fly's right over your head. You try your hardest to get as much ambition as possible to stop THINKING of getting it done, but actually DOING it, and completing it. It's harder then it sounds, depending on the goal that your trying to reach.

Then you notice: "Wow, why am I being moody negative bum."
Then you dwell for a minute in some self pity, it's completely natural, everyone does it, little will admit it. Most people think to themselves, "Oh it could be so much worse then this.I'm better off then some." The truth is, everyone has their own life, every problem, every nervous feeling, every anxiety, every negative thought,every jealous feeling,painful moment, it's a process of healing yourself, even if you don't feel you need to be "healed" It gets worse before it can get better.


As, I've said a million times, We are all completely alone trying to get through life, but some of you choose to be depressed about that, lose all hope, give up, and subconsciously expect someone to pick you up and make your life better, and one your expectations are broken you break even more. Others, choose to remember that since we are all alone in the world, it means we are all in it together, we are all living the same in the same world, it would be great if more people could realize that, rather then staying angry and hurt for their whole lives, but it's always good to feel it for a little while, like I said, it's all in the process of "healing" and becoming stronger.

Most people who are feeling sad or hopeless wont believe a word of that, sometimes, I don't even believe it, but eventually am always able to pull myself out of the hole.
The hole I have fallen into my whole life, it's always deeper each time I fall, which makes it even more difficult to pull myself out, but in the end, I'm stronger.


I stopped writing for quite a long time, Things I'm going to write on here are most likely not going to be "artistic" or anything interesting to most people, but maybe to some that read it, it will make complete sense, maybe I'll help someone through something, or interest someone, maybe someone who feels alone, will finally see they aren't.

Anyways, I'm promising to try to blog every day, even if it's just a few sentences.

Trust yourself to respond naturally to the circumstances in your life, and that you will get through it all.

Whoever you are, I'm here for you. Wherever you may be.

-Nellie.