Commemorate the memories.

I had a funny talk with an old friend from high school today.

I remember running away.

I remember packing a handful of candy...a shirt or two, my favorite stuffed animal, and a notebook in my favorite backpack. I'd pack it crying, screaming that I'd never come back. I was going to live in the wilderness with all the animals with no rules and no anger. The bunnies would be my best friends, and keep me warm all night.

The sun would go down, and the small town of Starbuck would become even quieter than it is during the day. The only car's that passed the little bush I was hiding in were the occasional police car making its rounds or those driving home late from work. I heard noises, and wondered if my parent's were sad, or sorry for being "mean" to me. I wondered if they thought I was dead, and regretted giving me rules. Sometimes my Dad would come looking for me with a little smirk on his face, and his big warm coat on. Looking at me....saying "ready to come home yet?" If I was done being stubborn I'd jump up and hug him and ask if he was worried... he'd always say, oh yeah of course... ;) I'd smile and we'd head home.

Sometimes no one came looking for me. It felt like I was gone for days back then, bored and wanting attention. Creepy little sounds,dark shadows, and cold air eventually got me to waddle home with my big bright snow pants on. I'd walk inside and my parent's would say "Oh hi there!" I'd pout and say "weren't you worried?!!!!" They'd laugh and say "Oh yes, very...." I'd make a grumpy face and go play with the dogs. Ridiculously cute memories I'm so thankful for. What a little stinker I was. I also remember grabbing the ketchup bottle and squirting it around my neck, on my hands....and laying on the floor acting dead...gasping for air overly dramatic like. ;) I'd wait till they came in the room because I wanted them to scream and be worried about my little 8 year old self. I thought I was so clever. "Hey nell" my dad say's as he steps over my "corpse" . "DAAAAAAAAAAAD!!! uughhh!" I'd say as he laughs and tickles me to death for real! :)

I remember walking to the old parks, or riding my pink and purple bike to get ice cream or play pirates with the local kids. I remember carrying around silly little purses with silly little lip glosses inside. I miss the imagination I had, and the safety I felt everywhere. Growing up in a tiny town at that time was so much fun because you had no boundaries. You could make all the ruckus you wanted all day long, summer nights, winter days. Just being a goofy, weird, energetic kid.

Anyways, I really miss my lady, and my friends. I hope to head to Minneapolis on the 17th :)

-nellie

When we finally kiss goodnight, how I hate going out in the storm...

CHRISTMAS IS COMING ....

My apartment is decorated a little bit with what I have, a little Christmas tree made out of wire hangers and tinsel. Some lights I dug up and a piece of material with snowmen on my coffee table, fat cats laying on it (included) ;D The kitties are really enjoying the lights and the warmth of the candles and the constant cheesy music I seem to keep playing, as well as the really old Christmas movies on ABC family. You know, the ones that are so crappy, but on every year? and Never seem to get old? Yeah, I love those. I currently hear Copper snoring next to me and Sydney cleaning her little paws. Oh gosh I want a kitten...but I don't have the money or the extra room for another little fur ball! OOF! I sure wish I did. The last few days have been rough.

Really rough, but that's how it goes aye? You just have to hang in there and hope things will get better, and usually they will if you try to stay strong. I know things could be worse, and I know I need to realize how blessed I am right now. I am thankful for so many things, but worried, and terrified of so many things. Money is not a good situation currently of course. I'm searching for a job and there's just no luck around here so far, but I'm just going to keep looking and working my bum off to find a job. The song "santa baby" is really really creepy, seriously.....listen to the lyrics, its about date rape or something....what the hell. I might be heading to the cities sometime soon, hopefully to visit with my lady and my friend Saundra. I miss them both very much, although I'm insanely sad that I don't have more money to buy more gifts this year, I'm trying to think of something creative to make for the people most important to me in my life this year, I'm hoping I can think of something. I'm also wondering if there is actually going to be snow this year or? Well, My dad comes home for Christmas this year thankfully on the 23rd for 2 whole weeks. I miss him a lot. I'm trying to re-create some new business cards for my photography, I lost the file I created before and have run out of them. If you haven't already, make sure to check out my website, the link is to the left of this <---- :] Hope you enjoy. I know it still needs work.

Happy Holidays, from my home to yours.

Love,

Nellie.

P.S. If you read this, feel free to comment below :)