The Cities Made Of Gold.

Every town was golden,

It was almost like little specks of sunshine had collected in the earth so those who live in the clouds could still see us at night.

Sometimes there was only one little golden speck in a field of black, much like my hope.

One little light left in the nightmare of my soul.

Burned alive, Buried alive.

Today when you look at me, you'll see fire in my eyes.

You'll see tired hands that have dug me out of many graves.

You might even feel my breath on your skin as I fly across this universe.

"Attention passengers the current time is 9:30 pm, and it is 52 degrees, we enjoyed having you on our flight you may now turn on all electronic devices as we land, please remain seated and buckled in until the sign is off."

The fog is a million ghosts carrying the plane down into the golden city.

I'll keep walking until I find the little speck of sunshine in the earth,

and soon enough, the cities in my soul will be made of gold.

-Nellie.

I've lost track of the date, and my mind.

There's a stranger inside my head, and a ghost laying next to me in my bed where she once slept.

My fingertips have lost their grasp on reality and nightmares, as I watch the world float away, I stand on a star and blink once, twice, wake up, fall asleep. Inhale,exhale.

Eyelashes collected on my pillow case from all the wishes I blew away.

The room I grew up in, the walls are blank. No pictures surrounding me, just white paint over everything I remember.

I've seen the darkest side of myself, forever searching for the brightest side of the sun in my eyes.

If I were the moon watching over you, would you stare up at me too?

The circles I spin, The mind I lost, The heart I no longer feel beating.
Dizzy and numb, all over again.

Smile.Love.Cry.Hate.Repeat.

That was my movie before. Press the button, it is an interesting story.

Sometimes I live comfortably numb.

Sometimes I lose all control.

Right now, I'm in a room alone, just the way I like it.

My fingertips seem to always find my lips just to feel me breathe.

This isn't a poison destroying the roots that have made me strong, This is a storm leaving me withered and torn, but every day as it rains, I heal and I grow. I become stronger, just as I did all the times before.


I will find the sunshine in my eyes, and continue to breathe in the skies.

10/06/2010

I know what it’s like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can’t. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside.




Everything has changed.
Everything is different.
I can grow.

alone.